Sparkling sunlight;
Beautiful and fresh, the begining of the world; the threshold of creation
O beloved Goddess; you dance to the song of joy
As all your minions grovel before you're exorbitant beauty
So perfect, So important; So significant.
All Hail the Goddess!!!
All Hail the Witch!!!!!!!!!!
You disgusting monster; you rotting banshee;
You suck the life out of my love; you trap me in your eyes
Making me a slave; living like a parasite
Taking my life; LET ME GO!!!!!!!
I HATE YOU; I DESPISE YOU!!!!
FILTHY WITCH; WHY? WHY? WHY?
Why did you leave? Why did you desert me?
Did I not sacrifice my life; to be trapped in this cage of thorns??
I DID IT FOR YOU!!!! so that we could be together.....
They took you away on Earth; to be the bride of another....
I killed myself; thought you would follow me....
Thought you would be here with me in this cage.....together forever....
I burn alone; we should burn together
No pain is pain if you are here...but you're not
So I scream. I SCREAM BEACUSE OF YOU!!!!
But you'll come...you'll come to hell....
I'm waiting, witch, I'm waiting........
When you come here, we'll be together
And I'll love you as much as I hate you now.
1 comment:
This poem begins with two lines that have a very triumphant and optimistic feel. Words like “sparkling” and “fresh” give the appeal of this gorgeous new thing, which the narrator then elaborates with images of some genesis, a taintless start without any impurities.
Then the narrator goes on to discuss how some “Goddess” is reveling; I would assume in the midst of this pure creation, and her minions(?) are beneath her “groveling.” The narrator explicitly states with a tone of sarcasm (perhaps) how wonderful and important this Goddess is. This would imply to me that the narrator is speaking more for how the Goddess thinks of her self than actually what the narrator thinks about the Goddess. The tone of the poem has gradually moved from sugary-sweet optimism into quivering sarcasm and reaches a turning point when the narrator exclaims “All Hail the Goddess/ All Hail the Witch”.
Immediately after those two lines, the narrator descends into a volley of insults, comparing a Goddess seemingly glorious to obscene creatures. This Goddess has enslaved the narrator emotionally through love. The narrator believes this emotional tie to the Goddess as being “parasitic”, in the sense that the narrator would feel dependent to survive or feel alive only through the Goddess’s attention. The narrator believes it’s life is being taken away by the Goddess and desperately wants to be let go.
Next, after a few more lines of rage and disgust, emphasized through capitalization, the narrator begins to question “why”. The poem’s tone then shifts from resentment, to lamenting. According to the narrator, the Goddess abandoned him/her. Also, the narrator previously sacrificed his/her own life- and I would assume that “to be trapped in this cage of thorns” would be a reference to a punishment in the afterlife or some such pain. The narrator then descends into rage again and then quickly recovers, lamenting once more that it was all done so “we could be together.”
After that the narrator goes on to discuss how after he/she died, the Goddess went on to marry “another”. The wording of that line would imply that originally the narrator and the Goddess were betrothed. For whatever reason, the narrator had planned to commit suicide, and expected the Goddess to follow him shortly after doing so.
The narrator regretfully mentions how the suffering would be not so unbearable if only the Goddess were accompanying him/her. There is one final burst of rage by the narrator followed by a revelation. The narrator takes on a calm tone again as he/she relates how one day the Goddess, called by now the ‘witch’, will eventually come to hell (so much one could assume that regardless of metaphorical or literal meaning, the narrator is in some afterlife) and the narrator waits for her coming with equal love and hatred in his/her heart for her.
Now, as I was reading this it occurred to me that this poem may have some relevance with the manga Angel Sanctuary; which I am only vaguely familiar with. However, regardless I will comment on it as though I had no such realization. That is not to say I have no respect for the manga or writings related to it, I just simply believe poetry should be read and analyzed without making such assumptions. My initial reaction to this poem reminded me of my own “goddess”, one whom inspired similar feelings in me as were stated in this poem. I felt that the opening to this poem with it’s lighthearted tone and joyful mood was a good prologue in sarcasm before descending into the true anger and desperation that the poem would later divulge. For me, I saw this poem as a good commentary for anyone who once loved someone, someone more than anyone else, and did something for that person that cost them dearly. However, after doing what they did, they found that their love was no longer acknowledged. If that was the poems intent, I would say it accomplished arousing certain memories like that in my self.
I could also see how this poem could be taken as a literal story of a lover who had made a suicide pact with his/her lover in life, but after accomplishing it found that his/her lover did not follow through. After committing suicide, the dead lover could only grow to hate his/her living lover for not coming with them and awaits in rage to be united with her for a form of revenge and reunion. In this case, I though it was a good story.
Now, I do have some criticism in regards to how this was written. I felt that the use of capitalization was a good way to get across the anger of the narrator, yet it was used too much. I encourage new methods of writing, especially any little quirk that can be done with grammar to make a poems message more poignant. However, it became a cheap trick to keep using it as much here. I feel that there are better ways to show the reader the anger in the narration, and much of that can be accomplished through the context of the poem. At what point is narrator saying this? Does it make sense to talk angrily/sadly/happily here? And why? Those questions, I think should be asked when contemplating how to get the emotional feel and mood across to the reader of a poem.
Also, Im still having a hard time seeing the use of “…” being used in your poetry. “…” like capitalization can have an appealing affect of readers, but only sparsely. Im sorry to batter you about these things, but I really feel that there being used to much to get across what words alone should.
All in all, I did like this one and I found, for whatever reason, that listening to Metallica’s song “One” while reading this gave it a certain feel. Just thought to drop that by!
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