pain-of-a-rose-petal

Her.

2011-02-15T08:32:00.000-08:00

Enraptured in ribbons of silken ash, the resentful fragrance of forgotten love notes.
A streak of pastel afternoon, shameless moans, wisps of memory like trodden lilies.
An ochre butterfly, to be lathered in rust, hovers over flowers bedewed for a hearse.
The scrape of hired silk flitting over sand scrubbed limbs, peddling mannequin love.

Window-sill tunes hummed under once warmed eyes
Glittering toes unreal under a sun starved wave
Blackened promises entwined in snake skin fingers

“Is it true? Did she truly dictate so?”
“But, of course Ariana. I would never lie of the Lady of the Stained Blades. I watched her offer out verdict, she sentenced a child to the Maggots.”
“How atrocious. One would think that God’s prized, prismed child..”

Sybil Vane heard all. Sybil Vane saw all. Sybil Vane did not raise her powdered eyelids. She did not remove her palm from the scepter of jade and amethyst by which she burnt the mark of misery upon those judged as black. She did not rise from the throne of onyx and pearl from which emerged a thousand rays that eclipsed the seven suns in the seven skies of Atlizuth.

“Her darkness is unmatched. To throw an old widow to Those Who Violate…”
“She is a monster, I tell you. A hideous creature with no beauty of soul. All she can possess is a glittering shell.”

Sybil Vane had learned to stop the tears. She had learnt to stifle the venom in her once blooming heart. The venom of reproach, of hate, of mockery, of being despised and feared. Sybil had learnt to no longer desire. And to no longer reach for that desire. She had learnt to no longer live.

She gently stroked the wound upon the skin of her neck, a mark that blazed like an angry sunset, red and gold when she spoke the words of No Life. She had tired of the screams that no longer repelled her, the prayers that no longer touched her. She wanted to sleep, she wanted to unchain herself of the mindless existence she was afforded, a perpetual tale of blood and sin, and more blood in return. She wanted to leave the heat of the sceptre’s blazing power and dissipate into the bliss of an icy shroud. She was tired, and sad.

But her pains were petty, insignificant, unworthy of celebration or even acknowledgement. Her tale was one that resounded in every human breath; the failure of love. Common. Pathetic. Unbecoming to the soul of the woman who had been Juliet, been Cleopatra, been Ophelia. She had been the conquerer of intellects, she had been every enchantress that ever enthralled a heart, but Sybil Vane could not remember when she had been herself, and been loved for it, except, that is…

“Prince Charming…”
The word was still like ambrosia to her lily touched lips. Of course, she had become conscious of the truth; he had ensured that. He had been every other man who loved the lies she nurtured on the gawdy, peeling stage of the alley-house. He had luxuriated in the deception she had once loved as her identity. Yet, he was one whose lies she had not realized until he burst them upon her. He was one who had given her the few moments of illusion that she had craved for helplessly all her mortal life. Sybil was starved for his lies once again. She wanted the feathered blindfold, she wanted the motleyed robe of the fool, Sybil Vane, Lady of the Stained Blades wanted love. Or the next best thing, lie.

“My Lady of the Sceptre of Justice.”

More sinners. More sighs. More agony. Sybil gestured for approach without looking ahead.

“And your travesty…?” She spoke, and all bowed.

“Must I make a list, Your Grace? I might be a while.”

There was never any mistaking his voice. There was never any mistaking his scent. Sybil could feel the very fact of his presence pierce into every atom of her being. The space and the time and the elements that held her into a concrete form seemed to rupture and let free the lunacy that nested in the guise of a dove inside her red leaved walls. The scepter had long tumbled to her feet….or what was remnant. But she noticed not. She noticed nothing. Except that she had once against found the reason to be…her.

“Prince Charming…”

(To be continued.)

A Killer who thinks.

2011-01-06T07:02:00.001-08:00

.

I was falling into madness. A madness of my own doing. And all I ever wanted was that which I was about to accomplish. I was falling to darkness, and I felt nothing but lust. Desire. Animal, Primeval, howling desire to embrace the masness that approached me with mocking promises. It laughed at my foolishness, it jerred at the supreme, unsurpassed idiocy of a creature such as myself, one that wished to drink the elixir of nothingness, knowing full well of its consequences. Void. Complete black. An eternity of watching the future become history. Of towers collapsing to dust and dust rising to mammoths. An endless pursuit, a madness. With one grotesque, intoxicating kiss, I had set bare my soul as fodder for demons. I had become the architect of my own damnation. My core was laced with insanity. And how sweet the feeling. I revelled in the ecstasy of becoming a deviant, one that belonged nowhere, one that was truly free, of love, of hate, of affection, of expectation, of rebuff, free to pursue that which was my sustenance, my madness, my muse

Again

2011-01-06T06:50:00.000-08:00

Kisses fair, kisses wild,

I wait for you to tread faded paths.

Watch the stars calling for the last melody,

Unbelieveing as they plunge into sleep once again.

Listen to the parley of the bronzed leaves,

That weep the frozen beauty of their white queens.

One last time,

Pipe me a tune.

Sing me of errant love, of slithering lust

Of gleaming tombs and a peeling bust.

Give Memory back to the dead, and tears to the wise.

Give blood to the King, and let him smile.

One last time.

Darkness trapped within a net of light.

Unreality painted with promises bright.

Come into my lure again,

I'll kiss your fevered sleep away.

Wake you to a precious dream,

A world without your beloved's scream.

Must you run? Must you defy?

Must I bleed and quarter your kind?

Must I sigh a million sighs?

And buy your love with pain?

One last time.

Make me cry.

I'd like to feel.

One last time.

2009-06-16T09:02:00.000-07:00

Led to the Scyld,
It is the river of the Dead.
Crimson sorrow washed by the sins of mortal lust.
On its banks swirm the mist of Him.
The Dark Lord, who will now own my fetid soul.

Stinking of sin, this unseemly feeling of death.
Was it only yesterday that the dagger pieced the heart?
It is all a dream; yet Sheoul is beautiful.
All the wretched dreams are now over, I am at peace.

The ice cold glacial cleft where i lie
As Time is non existent, and my existance freezes to nothing.
The sleep overtakes me, but does not conquer.
I hear it.

The swish of a feather touch, the white light that dazzles the very core of my unseemly being.
I do not behold the sight, my visison is lost.
But, who are you, alien being?
Joy and purity in the bowels of Evil?

The voice and the song "Lady of Poison"
I feel those lost tears flow one more time...
I despise you Sheoul.
I despise you, Evil.

Take me away, unknown angel.
Take away this wretched, degraded being.
To wherever you steps may take.
Atlizuth or Assiah.

The light receeds. I feel the warmth lost.
Where are you going?
The song fades. And I realise.

I am still alone.

Rejected.

2009-05-11T11:31:00.001-07:00

I know what its like to be rejected,
Again and again until;
You realize that you are nothing but the castaway.
The mistake of creation.
The obstacle to the perfect world.

I know what its like to be rejected.
To feel the fire of helplessness burning within you.
Your love-blood evaporates to nothing.
And you suffer.
And no one notices.

I know what its like to be rejected.
To feel the hot liquid seeping down your cheek.
And the bitter bile at your throat.
The feeling of disease and plague.
And that you are no longer anyone.

I know what its like to be rejected.
To hear the words “It won’t work out.”
To hear the words “You’re not my type.”
To hear the words “ I’m very sorry.”
Better luck next time.

Better luck next time?
There won’t be a next time.

The metallic taste of blood slices the tongue.
And the knife falls from the hand
Sparkling a crimson hue.
The spinning of world.
The feel of the cold stone floor rushing to meet you.
The crashing pain in the skull.

Goodbye.

Death will not reject me.

2009-05-01T23:54:00.000-07:00

My body is cold, frozen from deep inside
My lips are crimson ice.
Eyes as hollow as the whore you took yesterday.
Heart as tainted as the Demon's kiss.

The golden mask slips,
The gasps are heard.
My eyes narrow, sparkling in greed.
I feel my lips moisten.
What a beautiful man.
What delicious prey for tonight.

Sickeningly white fingers beckon at the innocence
Your body, helpless in lust; follows.
I wonder who brought him here.
A virgin flower, to a congreagation of sins and filth.

In the dead, dark garden
Where violated angels stand encased in cold marble
I brought you; you followed me like a lost puppy.
One soon to be enslaved and exploited.

The light of the moon was almost like a shroud
Over a dead corpse.
It shrouded us.
My dead eyes assaulted your vision;
And I felt you drown under the grip of my control.

Our lips met.
And you tasted the poison of lust.
I felt your desire,
As fresh as the river.
And I knew, that you were mine.

2009-03-07T02:03:00.001-08:00

Untitled

It’s been almost a fortnight since you left.
Your watch still on the dresser.
Your sock still lying on the living room floor.
Your eyes still in my mind….and my heart.
Those deep, black eyes…as black as a never ending winter night.
Cold, still, beautiful….wrenching out every secret from this rugged heart.
My scarred face, my scarred existence.
Seeing through one eye, I only see one side of this world.
Oracle, Oracle….I am the oracle. One who sees all.
One who knows all.
Then why do I not know who you are, ice-cold prince?
Your eyes, deep, black eyes….as black as….no,no…they are a true black.
The black of sparkling ebony presented to a queen.
This one is as black as charcoal, burnt, harsh charcoal.
You are the child of the dawn and enigma.
Unreachable as the sun, alluring as the Apsara
The dance of the ethereal starts…the song of the enchantress moon.
I see you now. I am the Oracle. I see all.
I know all.
Sent by the gods of blood to destroy this abomination with one eye.
One eye. And she sees all!!
You came, you left.
You did not kill me. Why?
This eye now sees that you will never return….and the wasteland lies before me.
Death seems a gift, but I regret not.
Goodbye. I have loved you.
I love you now.

Untitled, I don't know what to call this....

2008-10-27T00:31:00.000-07:00

I still look into you blue eyes, eyes that seem like the ocean
So wide, so deep; I feel lost in them
The silence of your lips, the soft sigh of your breath
The touch of your hand; the touch I have longed for
I see you smile, the iced wall of your heart crack
Like a dam that cannot hold back the flow
The flow of your emotions
Reverberations in your soul
I see you smile; the sparkle in your eyes
So happy, so happy, you look so happy
I see your pain fading, slowly receeding
As peace creeps in,I see the war settle
The war in your heart is ending
Is joy on its way? Is happiness coming?
Forgive me, me beloved
Should I not know? Why must I ask?
I must feel it in my heart. Is it not?
You look so beautiful when you smile.
Everytime I close my eyes, I see your smiling face.
You carry me to the Seventh Heaven; to the brightest star.
My song is carried by the wind.
I know there is not greater joy; no greater ecstasy.
When I see you smile.

...

2008-09-29T01:30:00.000-07:00

Everytime I see your hair
Flowing gently in the morning air
When you open the window and look,saying
That no one could ever eat the food that you cook.
I have to agree, the soup was bitter.
And frankly, I threw the chicken into the litter.
You never up those old socks
And never ever replace the bottle corks.
Yes, it's true.
You're the greatest mess.
But then again, baby
The best part is, it never made me like you less.
Every silly thing that you said or did,
Made me feel like.....
Baby, I don't have a rhyme for this.
I need to tell you straight from my heart
You're the greatest work of art.
My Da Vinci, My Michaelangelo...
My interior decorator too...
I love you baby, that's all I wanna say to you.
Yea yea, I know I keep telling you.
That love isn't real and getting serious is weird.
{Oh great, now I've lost the rhyme again.}
What, you expect me to be a bard?
You know me better than anybody
I ain't no poet, but I'm speaking out.
Telling you that I can't do without you.
I'm going to end my awkward lines.
I'm hoping you'll always remember our times...
I love you.

I know someone like me shouldn't write stuff like this, and this is CRAPPY witha capital C. But I had to put it down. I kinda feel this way right now.

Prince Charming-Snow White

2008-09-21T00:34:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far far away, there lived a handsome prince in a beautiful castle. He was the only son of the king and queen. He was the most handsome and wonderful man, the envy of every other man in the kingdome, the desire of every other woman in the kingdom. His name was Prince Charming and he was the greatest and most beautiful prince of them all.
Every night, when everyone had fallen asleep, a dark figure would creep out of the castle and go to one of the houses nearby. Every night, it was a diffferent house. The next morning, a beautiful girl was missing from the kingdom. She was never found again.

One day, the king summoned the prince to the great hall and said, "Go to the next kingdom and make the princess Blanche fall in love with you. I want you to marry a princess who will bring us great lands in dowry but her father refuses to marry her to anyone because he treasures her. Make her fall in love with you." So the prince set off with his loyal servant to the other kingdom. The servant carried all the gifts and jewels for the princess while the prince carried the sword. They were passing through a deep, dark forest when suddenly they caught sight of of little cottage deeply set in the trees. The servant suggested they spend the night there and the prince agreed. When they knocked at the door, it opened on its own and inside they saw a strange sight.
There lay on the floor a blanket and on it lay the most beauttiful girl they had ever seen. The prince came to take a closer look and realised that she was Princess Blanche because only Princess Blanche had skin as white as snow...she was also called Snow White.

Snow White was hated by her mother who believed that her child was a witch, because no human could have such great beauty. Her father only waited for her to grow into a beautiful woman so that he could add her to his harem of concubines. And Snow White.....one day, when a hunter, who was employed by the queen tried to kill her, raised the axe over her head, she looked so beautiful that he couldn't kill her, and when he lowered the axe, Snow White quickly ran away. The hunter was killed by the queen and Snow White found the cottage in the forest, where she lived with seven dwarfs. But as the queen sent more assasins to kill her, she dressed up each dwarf as herself and instead they were killed. When Snow White was alone in the cottage, along came the queen dressed as an apple seller and offered her an apple, which was actually poisoned. Snow White smiled and took the apple and invited the apple seller in, offereing to give her a drink because she had walked so far. The queen, thinking it would be suspicious if she didn't come in started walking inside. As soon as she did, Snow White whipped out a dagger and stabbed her and as the queen lay dying, Snow White said, "I know you have poisined the apple, dear mother. But I will bite it." And she bit the apple and collasped, dead.
When the prince came to see the princess, he fell in love with her at first sight and carried her on his shoulders back to his kingdom. Her servant reminded him that she was dead, but the prince said that he loved her and he would always keep her with him..........

2008-08-20T06:52:00.000-07:00

In the sea of abstract misunderstanding
Where man's realisation is blurred and dazed
When blue, black, gold and hazel eyes try to look to the sun and find only dark clouds
When the boat shakes violently and the sailors clutch their crucifixes to their hearts.....

I smile, amused by their clumsy ways.
I laugh, tickled by their uncouth prayers
I clap, enjoying the show they put on before me...
I enjoy this little game so much

Everyday, everyday, when the sailors come to my kingdome to seek my treasure
I call the winds to dance and the sea to swirl
Foolish little men, don't you realise...
That who I am? That you cannot defeat me?
Do you not know who I am?

"Dear child..." I hear Father's voice and look up.
"Do you play yet again?" He asks.
"Yes, Father.." I smile. "I am enjoying myself."

<>

2008-04-15T10:09:00.000-07:00

The songbird,

With feathers of gold and wings of steel

Eyes of emralds, forever looking either way

And...

A voice..of divine bliss

One no angel can ever recreate...

The songbird's music...a gateway to peace..a boat to the river of soft sleep

A voice that is entwined with the wind....that makes the leaves dance...

"Angels of mine, let me thank you,

You have saved me time and time again

Angel, I must confess it's you that gives me strength

And I don't know where I'd be without you."

A few words from the reverberating crystal song...that shines its way through the dark silence of the forest.

How I love this song...How I wish to forever listen...

That's why I wait here, songbird

By this lonely glade everyday...

To see you..to smile at you..and tell you how much I love you.....

I'll wait, songbird..till when you hear my heart

And come to me..to carry me on your wings..

Away, Away, Away.....

2008-02-15T07:01:00.000-08:00

Sparkling sunlight;
Beautiful and fresh, the begining of the world; the threshold of creation
O beloved Goddess; you dance to the song of joy
As all your minions grovel before you're exorbitant beauty
So perfect, So important; So significant.
All Hail the Goddess!!!
All Hail the Witch!!!!!!!!!!
You disgusting monster; you rotting banshee;
You suck the life out of my love; you trap me in your eyes
Making me a slave; living like a parasite
Taking my life; LET ME GO!!!!!!!
I HATE YOU; I DESPISE YOU!!!!
FILTHY WITCH; WHY? WHY? WHY?
Why did you leave? Why did you desert me?
Did I not sacrifice my life; to be trapped in this cage of thorns??
I DID IT FOR YOU!!!! so that we could be together.....
They took you away on Earth; to be the bride of another....
I killed myself; thought you would follow me....
Thought you would be here with me in this cage.....together forever....
I burn alone; we should burn together
No pain is pain if you are here...but you're not
So I scream. I SCREAM BEACUSE OF YOU!!!!
But you'll come...you'll come to hell....
I'm waiting, witch, I'm waiting........
When you come here, we'll be together
And I'll love you as much as I hate you now.

2007-12-12T06:42:00.000-08:00

It is when the sea sparkles in the sun that I believe,
It is when the rose blooms that I believe,
It is when the sun rises that I believe
That You are more beautiful than creation itself.

When the stars glitter I see you eyes,
When the nightangle sings I see your smile,
In the rising dawn, i feel your prescence.
You are forever there in my soul.

In the cacophany of the world dungeon,
Your voice sings out like an angel's smile.
In the glory of the crimson sunset,
I remmeber how blessed I am.

That you are here ...before my eyes.

2007-12-04T06:58:00.000-08:00

The angels fly by,
Silver robes and sparkling wings
They sing “Fly, fly, fly.”
Yet I am bound to the hard cold ground
With chains of despair and emptiness
Walls of rotting affections and decaying desire
They hold me back, keeping me away from the bright sunlight that would dry up the blood
Why have you left? For you selfish pursuits
You call it “Salvation”
You call it “Enlightenment”
I call it “Foolishness.”
You were always naïve and stupid
Thinking that the world was pure and true.
And yet, it seemed so perfect when you were with me.
No pain, no despair, no tears.
What spell did you cast?
Was it your innocence that led me to believe?
Believe that I was not cursed?
I am forever a messenger of hell,
Forever hated, forever feared.
Then……why did you not scream at my monstrous visage?
DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU!
ROT IN HELL FOR MAKING ME BELIEVE!
I did not ask for happiness, yet it came.
And now I now the pain of losing all that I have.
I fall to my knees and beg of you.
Return to me, for I cannot go on.
There is nothing left, nothing to go on with.
As I strangle every drop of my heart’s blood and pray
“Return to me, so that I may kill you.”

ASMODEUS

2007-11-12T21:09:00.000-08:00

A dome of glistening crystal,
Surrounded by creeping vines and wild poisonous flowres
His favourite garden
"I do so love the forsaken ones." His icy smile freezes even the greatest of flames
His abode lies in the deepest layer of hell
Adorned by damned fire and a river of blood
Floating chunks of sinners' flesh, torn apart and strewn for his pleasure
When he walks through his pleasured "garden" under Hell's sky of dense, putrid, smoke.
He laughs, seeng the wild beasts engage in battle and eat their enimies' entrails.
When the sinners are sent to him, he burns their tongues and rips out their lungs.
Then, he throws them in the river, to feed the mutated shaks he pets.
Pain amuses him and Torture entertains him.
He grins, hearing the screams of devilish souls
That are trapped in the web of his flesh eating spiders.

His insane amusement is stopped by only a voice
A voice, as sweet as the wind chimes blown by the fragnant breeze.
"Master!" the voice sings out "Master Asmodeus."
The one voice that reaches the tainted heart of the most cruel excecutioner of Hell.
Asmodeus, one of the seven satans, the devil of wrath.

His madness stops, only by hearing the voice of Graciela, hia favourite attendant.
She was a daughter of the earth, but he had asked her from her father.
his payment for forgiving the old man's sins, even when sent to hell.
"I will not subject you to eternal pain." the demon had said "only if your daughter is mine to have."
And so she was, always by his side.
So beautiful, so perfect, she seems to his filthy heart.
And why should it not?

Graciela, a woman from the mortal realm was the one object of his adoration for his distorted being.
Asmodeus loved his servant, a servant who had not hated him even when he had trapped her in hellish realms.
Away from the Heaven she deserved to enjoy.
"Why do you not hate me?" he wonders "Why do you smile and sing for me even when i have made you a slave?"
He was insanely in love, a thing unheard of in Hell.
And yet, she was untouchable, she was too Pure
Even in the dark pits of hell.
"Is this the way God punishes me?" Asmodeus asks. "giving me a love that is unattainable? if she hears of my love, she will despise and i shall be alone for an eternity."

So he remains silent, and writhes in the agony of his twisted love.
The Lord of Wrath bestows pain, so that he may forget his own suffering in the bloodbath.
Impossible it is , he knows, a futile attempt.
And thus he forever dwells in the prescence of his greatest insanity; one in the form of an innocent mortal.
An insanity even the lord of devils cannot appease.

BELIAL---WORTHLESS

2007-09-19T08:59:00.000-07:00

The dark corridor,
Stretching long before me,
A dim veil of unearthly light shows me the way…….
Where am I?
Ah yes…..I remember,
The door to the afterlife………..I have died.
Bliss creeps over me; I am free
from those times of insane killing and my sword, stained with crimson life.
I see a door before me; tall and looming
carved out of bones, and embroidered with hides of the dead.
a scream reverberates from behind the door, a scream of despair.
It opens….
Is it true? What do I see?
It is her…
The consort of the devil
The mistress of the damned…….my mistress
Belial---worthless
She sits on a pile of bones….remains of her slaves
Decked in a blood red robe……..marks on her face
Marks of her own fingernails
Slashed in agony
She fell into hell, burned,
Her screams forever unheard
and yet, why?
because, though a devil at heart, she loved the dark fallen angel
how is it that i understand her?
I hear her thoughts, " I was a retarded creature at creation, so retarded that i was beautiful
and I drove every other angel insane for me. but.....
there was one, the "morning star" they called him before the fall
he despised me ; and so I love him.
until I can win his heart and learn to hate him, I am his slave."
Now she looks at me “come, child”
She speaks “join my army of hatred and despair
Bathe in the blood of animosity
Wield my spear of fire and kill
Kill until you become decayed
Then your bones shall be a throne for me”
I smile……..it continues even after death
I must kill here as I killed in my life
It is my destiny
I bow before her
“Command me, my mistress”
I, too loved the one who despised me.

mythologically, belial is a male demon however belial is a female [ i think] character in angel sanctuary [the manga] and the poem is based on her [i thnk].

AFTER BATTLE

2007-07-11T07:12:00.000-07:00

The desolate land
Scorched by the sun and blown by the wind
Hit by the wrath of thunder and lightning
And more…
The sounds of crying children, showers of gunfire
The screams of the wounded, the cries of the helpless
The soil stained with the blood….
Blood of friend? enemy?
What does it matter?
All blood is mingled, all blood is one.
Blood is blood, pain is pain
When blood is shed, life is lost.
The heated wind blows through the empty streets.
Broken and battered, left to rot
Corpses covering the road
Like the dead carpet to a banquet of hell.
And the child stands alone, overlooked by the soldiers.
Alive after battle…..
Alive?
He stands in the bloody courtyard of the nursery school
“I wonder what they fought for” he asked.
No answers, no response.
Only the aura of death.
Just the picture after battle….

MY FUTILE DREAM

2007-06-16T07:12:00.000-07:00

It the glazed sandstone and ivory mansion, floating on Heaven’s abyss
On the porcelain and marble throne
With undone hair and fluttering cloak
Sits the angel of fire, Michael-sama
The sacred sword lies at his side
His followers scattered, bowing around him
Wait to serve his whim and command
But his eyes, covered by his flaming hair are distracted, shadowed by thoughts of fiery war and battle,
The dragon on his right cheek is almost alive, wishing to indulge in the wine of destruction.
Or perhaps you think of your forsaken brother, my lord?
Do you still anger at him, sweet angel?
The heavens call him angel of light
Even does Assiah, the physical world
But what goes on in his mind, I wish I knew.
It is sinful, it is wrong, yet I love you.
Angel of fire, I would wallow in the fires of Gehenna
From the pit of Inferno, I would look up at your throne and whisper your name.
How I wish that your fiery heart would rest one day
And if I must sacrifice my soul so that I could forget my love
I would lock my soul in the dark dungeons of Hell so that no one could sacrifice it and that I could continue to selfishly love you, eternal one.
If he would but once hold me, I would die in ecstasy.
Until I can win that moment of unreality, I keep on loving him.
When the painful fires within you die.Perhaps, I could lay my head on your knee.

This following piece is on the fire angel Michael but the description is in accordance with the character Michael in Kaori Yuki’s beautiful manga, Angel Sanctuary.

seto

2007-05-24T03:07:00.000-07:00

those cold cerulean eyes, so painless
or so it seems.
i look at him across the study table, deeply absorbed in the book
strangely, tears well in my eyes.
he has suffered and he refuses to be wounded again
his heart is closed to the world
desperate and helpless, i stare into the dark void of oblivion
so dark and empty
"i don't need anybody" so familiar from his lips, yet so alien to his heart
why won't you let me love you?
why won't you let me heal your wounds?
i cannot hurt you, cannot stab you
i have lost myself and there is no map that can lead me back
unshed tears no longer glimmer in his eyes
he does not feel sadness, only empty
looking at him, i curse my life for never making me suffer
i cannot feel his anguish, cannot share his pain
cannot tell him a single word of comfort
Forgive me, my love
i am cruel and selfish, never to have been hurt while
the blood flows from your wounded heart
once again, his name escapes my lips, i long to say the name with love
his name i have spoken, "seto"
his brown hair bounces as he looks at me
those cold , frigid eyes that shield him from more pain
"what is it?" he asks
I stare,
what is there to say?

the person, referred to as "he" in this poem is seto kaiba, a character from the anime yu-gi-oh. i know it's weird but ever since i've seen him i can't get him out of my head.

death rhymes with hate

2007-05-21T09:42:00.000-07:00

death , do you fear him?
he is hated and despised, yet you call him when you have no where else to go
why is he the last one?
why must he sit at a corner and weep until you call him in a hated voice?
the he runs to you with hope of acceptance and you turn away, wishing to hold onto the betraying thread of life.
while death cradles you lovingly and holds you when you sleep
love is but a veil of silver and silk that blinds you when you walk
when you stop walking and grasp the veil, love slips away
leaving you at the edge of the cliff.
when you fall, you call life you scream
"HOLD ME! SAVE ME!"
death waits patiently, tears shimmering in his face
tears as old as those large monuments that stand so high in time
when life pushes you away, he holds you and takes you away
you curse him and he smiles
pain has sunk too deep , does not hurt any more
what a hard thorn, from a black rose
scream, foolish mortal, scream for life
while death cries and carries you away.